Lipstick & Rouge

Yes my little blog has been revamped, finally! After three years of the standard layout I felt it time I give my cyber space journal some umph. Amazing what little it needed to be brought back to life. A little lipstick and rouge is all. I would like to give a shout out to a miss Molly for doin' her thang and revamping my page! You can find her here: http://ellieandaudrey.blogspot.com/

I will hopefully be blogging much more likeI used to in the oldin' days, but will also be bringing in some new flare...more on that to come. Once I return back to reality and out of the beautiful Ruidoso mountains I will post of all our family Christmas festivities. Hope you all enjoyed your holiday and are just as excited to ring in the New Year as I am.
Oh and Micah said I should explain the new title of my blog for those that might not understand. A favorite quote of mine from an all time classic film "Leave the gun, take the Cannoli" is where it derived from. I interpret that as take what's important and move on. Plus it shows that even in a tough mafia filled world that pastries are king! If you still don't know what I'm talking about you need to go watch The Godfather trilogy right now. Go. Seriously. watch it.

Smooches!
Nat

sweet, sweet sound.

I sit here in Elsie's room as she reads her books aloud and I am flushed with emotion. This past week has had to be the hardest week as a mother for me. Micah had left for a weeks long business trip last Monday. Subsequent to his departure Elsie came down with a cold or something, I still haven't figured it out. Not only was she not eating or sleeping well but her attitude all together was horrible. I have never felt so helpless and frustrated at the same time as I did all of last week. My patience was tested beyond measure and my body was weighed down by fatigue and exhaustion. By weeks end I felt I was such an inadequate mother that my holiday spirit was depleted...almost completely. Hours after Micah's arrival we rushed to his company Christmas party and into a whirlwind of Christmas festivities this weekend without a moment for my body to relax from what it had just endured during the week. I will say, surrounding myself with loved ones this weekend in celebration of the upcoming holiday was exactly what I needed. Even though Elsie still had meltdowns during the midst of these events I was reminded that I have such great people in my life for support and well, a break.

Now since daddy is home and she seems to be recovering (finally) from whatever it was she came down with, all almost seems right in my world.

I'm hearing her sweet voice right now and it touches my heart. I'm filled with guilt thinking I lost my patience so many times last week with this little angel. Her precious little voice is such a sweet, sweet sound and it makes me wonder if that is the sweet sound of our voices God loves so much. When our attitudes are ugly and we are disobedient to His word because of circumstances in our lives we definitely aren't blessing Him, but he loves us still the same. He also doesn't freak out like I did so many times last week, but I know by his loving grace I am forgiven and he is there to help guide me through struggles and help me grow from my mistakes. My goal as a mother and wife is to strive for love and peace in our home, no matter the circumstance. It is definitely a learning process as I encounter new seasons of motherhood, but by the grace of God I know I can succeed.

It is almost nap time and we have not had one meltdown all morning, whoo. I think I might just have a nap when she goes down as well. Or sip hot chocolate and listen to Christmas music while browsing blogs...

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*Beautification in Process*

Bear with me while my blog gets revamped. Should be back to normal before Christmas.

"It's Probably your last"

This is in reference to my pregnancy. My dearest Shan said that to me today. Well, emailed it anyway, which is like saying it to my face. I had said something about feeling so very pregnant and not in a good way and she reminded me that though this pregnancy has been rough I should bask in it considering it is most likely my last.

Those words struck me like lightning and I have been pondering them throughout the day. I realized I haven't had this warm fuzzy connection with Vernon as I did with Elsie's pregnancy. Is it because Elsie's pregnancy was my first and everything was new and exciting, or because her pregnancy was perfect and I loved every moment of it? Could it be because Elsie is a 21 month old toddler steering the reins on my life at the moment and I haven't had a second to delight in this little miracle inside me. Considering all that has happened during this pregnancy he is just that, our little miracle baby. Micah refers to him as that because of all Vernon and I have endured during that past few months and yet he is still growing strong.

It saddens me beyond measure that I haven't journaled this pregnancy as I did the other nor have I enjoyed much of it. I am choosing from this point on to try and relish the last few months I have left with this little Mr. growing inside of me. I will enjoy his intense kicking and know that feeling him means that he is well. I will try to capture the rest of my growth on film and journal the moments that I will soon forget after he comes into the world.

After recognizing my frame of mind I was immediately inclined to photograph something in reference to Vernon. I wanted to take some pictures of my bump, seeing as how I will be six months next week and don't have many pictures to show for it. Unfortunately, Micah flew out to Maryland this morning on business (more on that in another post) and so these are my own attempts of capturing this moment of today. I pulled these shoes and flat cap out that I had purchased over a year ago as a gift but just couldn't part with because I knew I wanted them for my future son. Here we are, pregnant with our son and can finally look forward to him wearing them.

Jerimiah 1:5 "Before I formed you in the womb, I knew you..."